Euthanasia - When is the right time?
1. How do I know it’s the right time to euthanize my pet?
Your pet can’t tell you when they’re ready to pass on. While they may mentally be ready, their body is still performing the necessary life functions. However, they may be silently suffering from a terminal disease or condition that treatment can no longer help. As a devoted pet owner, it’s up to you to determine if your furry companion is uncomfortable, in pain, and ready to end their suffering. You are the best judge of the quality of your pet’s daily life. Fortunately, you don’t have to make this difficult decision alone.
You can evaluate your pet’s quality of life based on the following factors — pain, mobility, nutrition, hydration, elimination, behavior. If your pet has a good appetite, responds to attention, seeks its owner’s company, and participates in play or family life, many owners feel that this is not the time. However, you may consider ending your pet’s suffering if they are experiencing more bad days than good; displaying pain; have anorexia or difficulty eliminating or walking; are behaving unusually; or simply seem to no longer enjoy life.
Evaluate your pet’s health honestly and unselfishly with your veterinarian. Prolonging a pet’s suffering in order to prevent your own ultimately helps neither of you. Nothing can make this decision easy, but it is truly the final act of love that you can make for your pet.
2. Should I stay during euthanasia?
Many may feel relief and comfort by staying. This allows you to see that your pet passed peacefully and without pain. For some, not witnessing the death (and not seeing the body) makes it more difficult to accept that the pet is really gone. However, this can also be traumatic for some, and you must ask yourself honestly whether you will be able to handle it.
3. What are my aftercare options?
When a pet dies, you must choose how to handle their remains.
Cremation is an option that allows you to handle your pet’s remains in a variety of ways: bury them (even in the city), scatter them in a favorite location, place them in a columbarium, or even keep them with you in a decorative urn (of which a wide variety are available).
A pet cemetery provides a sense of dignity, security, and permanence. Owners appreciate the serene surroundings and care of the grave-site. Cemetery costs vary depending on the services you select, as well as upon the type of pet you have.
Home burial is another option, if you have sufficient property for it. It is economical and enables you to design your own funeral ceremony at little cost. However, city regulations usually prohibit pet burials, and this may not be a good choice for renters or people who move frequently.
4. What should I tell my children?
You are the best judge of how much information your children can handle about death and the loss of their pet. Don’t underestimate them, however. You may find that, by being honest with them about your pet’s loss, you may be able to address some fears and misconceptions they have about death.
Honesty is important. If you say the pet was “put to sleep,” make sure your children understand the difference between death and ordinary sleep. Never say the pet “went away,” or your child may wonder what he or she did to make it leave, and wait in anguish for its return. That also makes it harder for a child to accept a new pet. Make it clear that the pet will not come back, but that it is happy and free of pain.
Never assume a child is too young or too old to grieve. Never criticize a child for tears, or tell them to “be strong” or not to feel sad. Be honest about your own sorrow; don’t try to hide it, or children may feel required to hide their grief as well. Discuss the issue with the entire family, and give everyone a chance to work through their grief at their own pace.
5. Will my other pets grieve?
Pets observe every change in a household, and are bound to notice the absence of a companion. Pets often form strong attachments to one another, and the survivor of such a pair may seem to grieve for its companion. Cats grieve for dogs, and dogs for cats.
You may need to give your surviving pets a lot of extra attention and love to help them through this period. Remember that, if you are going to introduce a new pet, your surviving pets may not accept the newcomer right away, but new bonds will grow in time. Meanwhile, the love of your surviving pets can be wonderfully healing for your own grief.
6. Am I crazy to hurt so much?
Intense grief over the loss of a pet is normal and natural. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s silly, crazy, or overly sentimental to grieve!
During the years you spent with your pet (even if they were few), they became a significant and constant part of your life. Your pet was a source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy. So don’t be surprised if you feel devastated by the loss of such a relationship.
People who don’t understand the pet/owner bond may not understand your pain. All that matters, however, is how you feel. Don’t let others dictate your feelings: They are valid, and may be extremely painful. Remember, you are not alone: Thousands of pet owners have gone through the same feelings.
7. What can I do about my feelings?
The most important step you can take is to be honest about your feelings. Don’t deny your pain, or your feelings of anger and guilt. Only by examining and coming to terms with your feelings can you begin to work through them.
You have a right to feel pain and grief. Someone you loved has died, and you feel alone and bereaved. You have a right to feel anger and guilt, as well. Acknowledge your feelings first, then ask yourself whether the circumstances justify them.
Locking away grief doesn’t make it go away. Express it. Cry, scream, pound the floor, talk it out. Do what helps you the most. Don’t try to avoid grief by not thinking about your pet; instead, reminisce about the good times. This will help you understand what your pet’s loss means to you.
Some find it helpful to express their feelings and memories in poems, stories, or letters to the pet. Other strategies include rearranging your schedule to fill in the times you would have spent with your pet; preparing a memorial such as a photo collage; and talking to others about your loss.
8. Who can I talk to?
If your family or friends love pets, they’ll understand what you’re going through. Don’t hide your feelings in a misguided effort to appear strong and calm! Working through your feelings with another person is one of the best ways to put them in perspective and find ways to handle them. Find someone you can talk to about how much the pet meant to you and how much you miss it-someone you feel comfortable crying and grieving with.
If you don’t have family or friends who understand, or if you need more help, consider a pet loss support group. Pet loss support groups can provide a safe and non-judgmental place for you to go to be able to share your feelings and experiences, whether it be before or after the loss of their beloved pet. Support groups are a place where you will meet others who understand what you’re going through. Many groups welcome children as well.
Additional Resources:
https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time
https://www.avma.org/resources-tools/pet-owners/petcare/coping-loss-pet